Why Nachos Are a Terrible Super Bowl Food: An Appeal

Posted by Harrison-Milo Rahajason in Pressbox Hat Trick on February 4, 2017

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It’s Super Bowl weekend!

For football fans, the Super Bowl is both a happy and sad occasion. It’s the most anticipated event of the football calendar, but it also means that the season is done, and there won’t be any football for several months.

That, by no means, excludes people lucky enough not to be football fans from participating in the festivities, though.

Things like getting together with friends, watching the elaborate commercials, enjoying a good halftime show are all things that make the big game enjoyable for everyone.

Then, of course, there’s the food. And that is what I am here to talk about today. As great as Super Bowl food is, I have a bone to pick with one of them: nachos.

Now, before I go any further, I would like for it to be abundantly clear about the fact I love nachos and this isn’t outright slander against them. They’re great, and they’re great for most occasions. The Super Bowl is not one of them, and I’m here to tell you all why.

Super Bowl foods all must share two crucial qualities:

1. They should be able to be eaten without your eyes ever leaving the television.

2.They must all be finger foods.

Nachos are finger foods, sure, but they are complicated to eat. You’ve got to rip the nachos off the cheese without causing an avalanche of calories all over the dish. This requires focus, not a lot of focus, but enough to be too cumbersome for the Super Bowl.

The other, possibly more annoying issue, is the fact that nachos are served on one dish that’s shared among many people. There will always be that person who will be petty, and not want to touch what you’ve put your hands on.

You don’t necessarily always know people at Super Bowl parties, and you do not want some stranger to be upset at you for basically touching the food that everyone else is also touching. People won’t want to share from the same dish. It’s flu season, duh…

It’s not worth all the hassle—it just isn’t.

Stick to chicken wings, stick to pizza, veggies and dip, mozzarella sticks. All the other good stuff! But nachos are too complicated for the Super Bowl, and we shouldn’t be serving them there anymore.