Naming Your Unit
The English language is constantly evolving. For example, a bitch used to be a female dog, and now it’s somebody within whom you pop a cap. But there is one area that has yet to catch up: the names we give to the rooms in our homes.
The living or family room: this used to be a place where you enjoyed your family and grew closer as a caring, nurturing unit by playing board games or some other lame crap. In the modern world, this tag no longer applies. Might I suggest the “Play XBox while ignoring your family room?”
The bedroom: pretty simple. You used to sleep in here. But sleeping is just one of many activities that this room now hosts. So I propose a new title: “the Facebook stalking/masturbating/passing out room.”
Too graphic? You don’t even want to know what I have in mind for the bathroom.
This article originally appeared in The Link Volume 31, Issue 20, published January 25, 2011.