Nah’msayin?

Stop Sucking Up to Profs!

“Sorry, professor, but…”

Whatever question follows will be: a) Not relevant to the subject at hand, b) Not related to the class at all, c) Not even a question, or d) All of the above.

Sometimes the student might as well be holding a giant invisible sign reading: “I need attention! Look at me!”

Here are a few classics: “Well, I’m from this place, or lived there for a year or two, anyway, but I know it better than you, despite whatever PhD you did on it.” Or, “Well, my opinion on the subject—which, interestingly, is not based on anything factual, and is not bringing anything new to the table—is that…”

Perhaps the all-time best is the tried-and-true suck-up/brag: “You know, this reminds me a lot of a very pretentious-sounding and obscure book with only a tangential connection to the subject at hand that I’ve read. What question? Oh, no question, I just thought it was interesting…”

But not everybody needs attention from a room full of people. Some students like to genuinely suck up to profs.

Like if it was high school all over again, and they still think sucking up will get them a better grade.

Breaking news, suckers! It won’t, and you look ridiculous.

Also, you’re wasting everybody’s time. If you need attention, it’s pathological. Go to a therapist. Or get a puppy.

Or just think before opening your ridiculous mouth. Please.

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