Don’t @ me: Cuffing season is overrated

Why you should skip out on the cringey couples’ rituals this fall

OpinionsCasey Kiss — Published October 4, 2023 3 minutes

Understandably, many of us are looking for that special someone to keep us warm through the frigid Montreal winter that lies ahead; but I'm here to say you’re better off on your own. 

Now look, while I am in a relationship, I believe that this is why I can confidently say that cuffing season is overrated. Having someone to snuggle up to is great—and I love my boyfriend;  this is no shade to him—but I know firsthand all the downsides to being in a relationship from fall to winter. 

Probably the biggest drawback to cuffing season is how damn expensive it is. From Halloween costumes, to Christmas presents and all those cute, cozy dates in between, the cost  adds up. Pumpkin patch dates and matching Christmas pyjamas aren’t cheap. Why spend all that money when you can light a candle and watch Halloweentown or Home Alone with your bestie?

Those pricey couples’ costumes especially irk me this time of year. From the stress of researching and agreeing on a costume to then shopping for one, it’s not only a ridiculous process, but it’s also extremely overpriced. All for a couple of Instagram photos, probably in your friend’s basement with some red solo cups. 

Cuffing season is also prime time for meeting your partner’s family. We all have our crazy close and extended family members, and now you get to subject yourself and your partner to the nerve-wracking, chaotic mess that is exposing your significant other to that crazy aunt. Let me tell you, sitting at the kids table during Christmas dinner while your family asks how you met, or questions your partner’s intentions with you is not fun. 

Even if your family is on their best behaviour, it's bound to be a little awkward. And it’s even worse if it's a new partner next year or was someone else the year before. 

Meeting your partner’s parents is yet another expense to pile on during this time of year. Do I get them a gift? What do I buy? Do they drink? Do they have siblings and do I have to get them gifts too? I’m going to visit my partner’s parents this Christmas and I haven’t known peace since we confirmed our plans.

There’s also the matter of transit. Hauling an overnight bag around in - 30 C to go see your partner is not cute. 

Not to mention, cuffing season falls right in line with exam season. Oh, you think study dates are cute? Think again. it’s hard to be romantically intimate while you’re pulling your hair out, fueled fully by caffeine, on the verge of tears and on your sixth hour straight in the library without having made a dent in any of your assignments. All you want to do after that is go to sleep, not go out on a dinner date. 

This cuffing season, don’t bother with the dating apps or all the supposedly cutesy stuff. Instead, grab your closest besties who you know will actually make it through the season beside you. The only boy to invite over should be the Pillsbury Doughboy, as you pop those premade sugar cookies in the oven.