Poetry: ‘FALL’

Photo Olivia Piché

Red hair. 

The hair that I first saw you with. 

It was like a flame 

And I was looking for heat. 


I always feel the urge to talk about you. Maybe the more I talk, the less I’ll feel. But it’s like you haunt me. I once shared my entire being with you. But it just feels a little pointless now, doesn’t it? You crushed me. 

I wonder if I ever cross your mind, running the intersection of your thoughts. Do I get bulldozed by a car? Or do you tentatively wave at me, beckoning me to come closer? Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we stayed in each other’s lives? Do I sound like a heart-sick fuck? 


I don’t know. 


Did you know that I read something I know you’d love? Did you know I threw out your poster? Did you toss away my art? (It was pretty good.) Did you erase me from your life? Was it easy for you? Was it something you had been pondering? Maybe it was. “The Beginning of the End” we were. 

We just didn’t know yet. 


Your eyes were (I guess, are) these huge orbs 

That just wished to know 

My every 


I spilled them all to you. 


You welcomed them with open arms 

Until they overflowed 

Like marbles 

Rolling away. 

You didn’t have the 


To pick them all up. 

So you kept a few in your back pocket. 

To remember me by.

I am now 

Someone in the back of your mind 

That appears sometimes 

But it becomes less 


As time 




And I’m okay with that. 

Or at least 

I’m trying to be okay with it. 

It’s hard when all I remember are warm embraces and shared smiles. 


I still try to reach out 

But my hand only meets cobwebs. 

We’re nothing 

And maybe we were never truly 


Okay, I’m exaggerating. 

But it feels like that. 

It feels like I can’t get off this ledge 

Of wondering about 



When I’m desperately seeking to share something 

That only 


Would understand, 

I look to find you 

And then remember 

Fuck. I forgot. She’s not here. 



Read more: Poetry: ‘Her name was not clementine’