Nah’msayin?
Ragin’ On The Road
When I get in my car, rage takes over me—I just can’t help it.
So instead of bulldozing the next bad driver I encounter, I figured I’d try to clarify some basics that the general automobile-operating population ought to know before getting behind the wheel. And yes, Granny, you may be cute and bake good cookies but these things apply to you, too. Listen up.
People take the highway when they want to get places quickly—mind-boggling epiphany, I know. For those of you who are nervous drivers or just partial to a slower pace, guess what? There’s a service road on the right-hand side just for you. Take it.
And for those of you that follow that whole three-car distance thing—please be reasonable. I know you learned that in driving school, but consistently braking when there happens to only be two and 7/8ths of a car’s space ahead of you is actually dangerous. The car behind you isn’t expecting you to halt abruptly and will come crashing into you. (P.S. This will be your fault.)
Worst of all are the drivers that seem to have a phobia of red lights. You know the one’s who are afraid to approach the stop line? I swear the light is not going to shoot out a blast of fire into your face. Also, there’s this little thing called an inductive loop—a sensor that’s placed underground to tell the lights that there is a car waiting. So when you come to a stop miles away from this sensor, you can bet you’re going be waiting at the light for a million years. Yes, people will honk at you. Yes, this is also your fault.
Please keep these things in mind; it will make the roads a happier place.
—Ashley Couillard
