Don’t @ Me: You’re Not Sapiosexual, You’re Just Pretentious

Intelligence is Subjective and Not a Sexual Orientation

Graphic Breea Kobernick

“One who finds intelligence the most attractive sexual feature.”

That’s what you get when you look up the word “sapiosexual” on Urban Dictionary.

Why didn’t I use an actual dictionary to find a definition? Because Urban Dictionary, much like sapiosexuality, should not be taken seriously.

I consider myself to be a pretty sex-positive person. I’m close with people from all corners of sexuality, be they different orientations, preferences, or kinks. That being said, one thing I refuse to tolerate is pretentious people, thinking they’re so above you that they call themselves sapiosexual.

Given that a sapiosexual’s main point of attraction is intelligence, the term doesn’t normally observe gender by implication.

The man who allegedly coined the term wrote a LiveJournal post and, wow, it sounds like a meme. Because it is a meme, the man’s profile picture shows him in a top hat. It’s so perfectly absurd that it’s borderline impossible to take it seriously.

Yet, despite its memeness, people are identifying as sapiosexuals unironically. So much so that OkCupid has made it a legitimate sexual orientation when you make your account.

Derived from “sapiens,” the Latin word for wise, sapiosexual is not only pretentious, it’s classist.

From high school, richer people get into better schools—public or private—which then usually allows them to get into better colleges and universities. From then on, richer students are more likely to end up in grad school and getting a “better education.”

Being attracted to someone solely based on their IQ isn’t cool, it’s shallow as fuck. News flash: IQ doesn’t actually matter in the real world. The knowledge of someone with a lower IQ is still valuable. IQ tests are the mental equivalent to the beep test, they’re not that indicative and people attribute way too much importance to them.

Being a sapiosexual also reinforces the same tired and fake-woke ideas surrounding what it means to be intelligent.

It feels like you’re only considered intelligent in some internet circles if you own a copy of any Jack Kerouac novel, don’t watch television, and generally feel just a little bit superior to the rest of the world.

Not only is it ridiculous and dismissive, identifying as sapiosexual is also flat out inaccurate. The American Psychological Association defines sexual orientation as an “enduring pattern of emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attractions to men, women, or both sexes.”

Being attracted to smart people is fine, just don’t be so full of yourself that you would go out of your way to make it the sole identifier with regards to who you’re attracted to.