The twenties dilemma

The beautiful chaos of being in your 20s

OpinionsSafa Hachi — Published November 19, 2024 3 minutes

It captures the mix of uncertainty and anxiety that comes with trying to find your footing as you transition into adulthood. You’re juggling newfound independence with overwhelming pressure to make all the right decisions, and it often leaves you feeling more lost than prepared. 

If you had told 15-year-old me that I’d leave my family home and move to a new city, I would’ve laughed in your face. But there I was, 17 years old, signing a Montreal lease in the summer of 2020, just a couple of months after graduating high school.

Maybe it was growing up in a North African household with the expectation that one must stay and take care of the home, or maybe it was all the movies that made independence in your early 20s seem out of reach. 

It was thrilling and terrifying in equal measure.

After four years of living in Montreal, I’ve begun to feel the weight of that pressure myself. What once felt thrilling and new has started to shift. The novelty of living on my own, exploring the city, and trying new things has worn off. 

As I approach graduation, it all feels more serious—Montreal might actually become my long-term home. With that possibility, the uncertainties of the future are starting to set in. 

I can’t shake the feeling of being in a strange, in-between phase. Everyone keeps saying these are the years to live it up, that you’ll never be this young or have this many opportunities again. It feels like a countdown, where every choice carries more weight than it should, intensifying my fear of wasting time. 

I want to try things for the sake of it, to experience the thrill of the unknown, but it’s hard to ignore the creeping awareness that the choices I make now shape the person I’ll become. I can feel my fear of getting older creeping into the centre of my decision-making process, making me question if I am doing enough or if I'm on the right track. Every boring weekend, failed date and missed job opportunity feels like I'm letting time slip through my fingers. 

These feelings are the key element of the quarter-life crisis, a developmental phase filled with self-reflection and personal exploration. While it may feel overwhelming, these moments often lead to meaningful growth and a strong sense of identity. 

All this being said, I wouldn’t change a thing about this period of my life.

The tension between the freedom to choose and the pressure to get it right is exactly what makes being in your 20s both exhilarating and unsettling. It’s a beautiful kind of chaos, it allows you to explore all the possibilities life has to offer. 

Maybe the grey area, despite being uncertain, messy and hard to navigate, is exactly where I need to be, where the real growth happens. 

For now, I’ll welcome the chaos as it comes.

This article originally appeared in Volume 45, Issue 6, published November 19, 2024.