Love without labels

Navigating the era of casual dating and connection without certainty

OpinionsSafa Hachi — Published February 19, 2024 0 minutes

Hidden beneath the surface of seemingly carefree encounters lies a breeding ground for heartbreak and confusion. 

It is essential to acknowledge that not everyone falls victim to the pitfalls of casual dating. Some people know how to set, follow, and respect boundaries, creating connections without the need for traditional labels. 

The true danger lies in how casual dating has become the norm, overlooking the emotional toll it can take on those participating in unlabeled and unclear connections.

One of the major issues arises from the lack of boundaries, or a clear definition of what casual means to both parties. What might be considered casual to one person could mirror what another categorises as more serious such as going on dates, frequent contact, constant communication, and intimacy.

A friend of mine once said “Feelings don’t know titles,” and I believe this accurately captures the notion of the situationship era we are in. 

The real challenge emerges when someone involved desires more. This is where the lack of accountability comes into play. If the relationship was never officially serious or lacked defined labels, one person in the situationship can easily fall back on the notion of having never been officially together.

Expressing a desire for a romantic relationship, complete with titles and labels, has become a source of shame for some. 

We live in a generation captivated by instant gratification, accessibility, and emotional detachment. Vulnerability is often perceived as weakness. The fear of being labelled as "clingy" or "needy" stifles authentic communication and perpetuates a culture where those who seek genuine connections are deemed “too much”. 

The paradox of choice also contributes to these feelings of dissatisfaction, all of which contribute to the loneliness epidemic. Having many options, always having a way out, and not committing to the person you are seeing in hopes that there will be someone better suited for you is a dangerous grey zone to be in. The constant search for the next best thing perpetuates a mindset of discontent creating a cycle of unfulfilling connections. 

It could be because many of us indulge in movies and music that revolve around themes of unrequited love, yearning, or what my X (formally known as Twitter) timeline humorously dubs “letting it linger.” Even films I'm guilty of loving like 500 Days of Summer, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or Love & Other Drugs contribute to the idea that there's a certain beauty in the melancholy of love. We revel in the notion of the chase, the struggle for love, often portrayed in these narratives, all while recognizing, in most cases, that the power to shape our own love stories lies firmly in our hands.

In order for a shift in the dating paradigm, it's crucial to emphasize the importance of open communication and the recognition that not everyone thrives in the world of casual dating. 

I believe the grass is not greener on the other side, but greener where you water it. 

Distinguishing between being alone and feeling lonely is crucial. If your current dating situation leaves you dissatisfied, introspection can help understand your needs better. 
Exploring connections at a casual pace, or investing time in self-discovery for lasting happiness are both valid choices aligned with one’s values. It's time to challenge the idea that vulnerability is a weakness and that expressing a desire for commitment is out of touch with the times.