Light-Speed Bus

Graphic Joshua Barkman

There is one thing I don’t understand about the Societé du transport de Montréal’s buses: Why do drivers feel the need to slow down by slamming the brakes like it’s the apocalypse?

I mean, at first I didn’t mind it.

It reminded me of my travels around the galaxy—you know, when you’re going in and out of light speed, there’s this slight bump for a couple of seconds… Anyway, we’re getting off-topic.

After a couple hundred times bouncing around like a potato bag in a cart before Thanksgiving dinner, I changed my mind.

I’m not even complaining about the security issue—you know, cracking your skull open on the front window because you didn’t have time to hold on to something.
It’s just not comfortable.

I can understand that some people like face-planting into metal poles, but I don’t.

And it’s not like buses only stop once in awhile—they stop at every street corner.

It also seems very counter-productive. If all your passengers are going to be dead or injured before arriving at the last stop, why not simply veer sharply to the right and plunge off the Turcot?

Too bad we can’t use OPUS cards for the Millennium Falcon.