Nahm’sayin? Stop Premature Decorating

Graphic: Cairo Justice

I think we should implement a strict societal rule to wait until, at the very least, Dec. 1 before participating in any holiday decorating activities.

Sorry, but not sorry. I don’t want to be wished a “Merry Christmas” by Tim Hortons while I’m trying to get my morning caffeine fix in the thick of November midterms. Like, c’mon.

Not only do I not want to think about Christmas at such an early stage, but I especially don’t want to mull over how I’m going to explain to my extended family that I don’t believe in this capitalist holiday period all before 9 a.m. Just because Halloween is over, doesn’t mean it’s time to start stringing up the bells and holly. It’s still November, people.

It just irks me that every time I go into a store now, it’s just Christmas shit all over the place. I think the most frustrating part is that it’s not even the kind of shit you would want to be gifted; it’s just the dregs of consumer capitalism staring you in the face. As if you need a Crocs-shaped phone case (because you didn’t look stupid enough wearing the shoes to begin with.) Do you really need an inflatable deer head? No. Put that fucking tree topper down for one second and think about your life.

You’re buying wrapping paper—why? It’s just going to end up in a landfill, along with all of the boxes, bags, and plastic packaging that society tells us we need in order to be validated during the month of December. But I’ll admit: I did buy a Kinder advent calendar yesterday, so what do I know?