Since I have been loving you

Myriam Ouzzani

Since I have been loving you

My agony is a serpent's skin that

Sheds and reveals new layers of suffering

My muscles ache from

Unfought wars with marking of wounds on my body meant to be inked on me

I cannot hide the battlefield that lives within my spirit

If I could evade

My soul would drip out of my pores

Like raindrops uncertain how to escape from the clouds

And roam free as it has been forbidden to do so

I seek inner peace in the hands of intruders

My identity forged and rewritten by poets on my behalf

I could tell God but he already knows

There's nothing new I could apprise him

Yet I still try

My confessions, a cry for help, go unnoticed

In my mother's womb, I absorbed all of her pain

My placenta filled with suffering

And destiny made it the composition of my flesh

I have suffered for eons

And without constant pain

I wouldn't know how to describe myself

Because you see

Pain lashed unto my skin

And bound itself to my cells

Becoming one

No matter how many times

I exfoliate, the hurt never leaves

My wounds never heal

I travel the world with scraped lacerations

That bleed unto those who wish to heal it

pain etched unto me

Like a child who fears abandonment

The load of carrying such burden

hunches my body

Dragging it down with gravity