Polyamory: The ultimate relationship hack
It is unrealistic for us to not love more than one person at a time
Monogamy is the practice of an exclusive relationship between two people.
Monogamy has been pushed on us since an early age, from Disney princess one-love storylines to fake kindergarten weddings. While it might be unfamiliar, there’s another relationship style available.
Polyamory is a non-monogamous relationship with one or more individuals at the same time, with everyone involved knowing and consenting. It’s not just about sex, it’s about having deep, genuine connections with multiple people. When everyone is on the same page, polyamory is full of love and exploration, allowing you to express all parts of yourself without confinement.
Why stop at one person when we have the capacity to connect with many?
We don’t limit ourselves to one favourite food, one favourite pet or one favourite hobby, so why limit ourselves to just one favourite person to be in a relationship with? Polyamory allows you to build a community, where each person fulfills a different part of your emotional, intellectual, and physical needs.
A common misconception is that polyamory is just about kinks, threesomes or sleeping with as many people as possible. That is not what polyamory is about at its core. Polyamory is about freedom from societal pressure, and from jealousy. It’s the freedom to love and connect with others in a way that makes sense for you and your partners.
Monogamy tends to force us into a box. One person is expected to be everything: a best friend, romantic partner, confidant and soulmate.
In polyamory, there’s no expectation for one person to meet all of your needs, or to feel like this person isn’t right for you if they don’t. You are allowed to explore different aspects of your personality, interests and sexuality with different partners. You learn so much about yourself in a nonconventional way.
Cheating is possible in a polyamorous relationship, but in polyamory, everything is built on communication and honesty. You can set your own rules for love, which changes the meaning of cheating. It’s not about sneaking around, it’s about recognizing that humans naturally have desires for others.
Jealousy is something that often destroys monogamous relationships. While polyamory doesn't eliminate jealousy, it transforms it, and it becomes an opportunity for growth. In platonic relationships like friendships, we don’t usually get jealous when a close friend spends time with other friends. If we adopt this mindset in romantic relationships, we can move towards healthier, less possessive forms of love.
Love isn’t a limited resource.
Polyamory is the ultimate relationship hack. Just like a life hack simplifies your day, polyamory simplifies love, giving you room to explore, connect and enjoy romantic relationships.
We shouldn’t settle for one path when we can create our own.
This article originally appeared in Volume 45, Issue 4, published October 22, 2024.
