Poetry: ‘A Very Merry Labour Union’

Please enjoy this poem by Zachary Fortier

Graphic by Joey Bruce

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

Pretty lights hung on the evergreen tree

Over presents as far as the eye could see;


The gifts were wrapped with skill and grace,

Every button, bow, ribbon perfectly in place;

But where might they come from, some children may say?

Why, from jolly old Saint Nick, far, far away!


They say Santa lives up in the North Pole

Where his workshop plays an important role;

He lives there for months planning his dossier

As he preps for the journey on Christmas Day!


As Santa writes lists of good girls and boys,

Who, then, is making all of the toys?

Now kids, just a second, brace yourselves,

It’s time we talked about the elves;


Peppermint and Sugarplum have worked in the shop;

They say they’re overworked until they drop!

With dangerous stations and a poor work condition,

Some of the elves have even lost their vision!


Twelve, fourteen, sixteen-hour shifts,

These tired little workers just can’t get a grip!

If you think that’s the end of Santa’s cruel greed,

See the bottles in which the elves have peed!


Growing tired of their red and white bogeyman,

Some of the elves started hatching a plan;

A hope for equality, a sparkle in their eyes,

They had an idea: let’s unionize!


They printed out union cards and set their sights,

On telling their comrades about their rights;

For the elves to have better work safety at last,

When it came time to vote, the union was passed!


As the elves wrote new rules and lowered corruption,

They had their say in the means of production;

Blocking Santa’s exploits in multiple ways,

Gaining their rights, they saved the holidays!


As their hearts fill with real Christmas cheer,

The elves want to keep this up all year!

We all agree we deserve a fair share of it,

So let’s spread love to the jolly proletariat!