The Stink investigates: Where has the Stingers mascot buzzed off to?
Buzz, the Stingers staple, has been mysteriously missing all season
Concordia University students are reporting that “Buzz,” the Stingers mascot, has been missing, citing concerns for the bee’s safety and well-bee-ing.
The mascot has not made an appearance in a single game in both the fall and winter seasons.
“In all my undergrad years, whenever I go to a game, it’s mostly to see Buzz. It’s a big inspiration in the mascotting program,” Concordia mascotting major Les Cheeremall said. “At first I was disappointed, but now I’m actually worried about Buzz—where is it, is it okay?”
Cheeremall reached out to The Stink for help in demystifying Buzz’s disappearance. Since the beginning of the football season, The Stink’s sports journalists have consistently noted the absence of the bee’s bubbly stunts and cheers and its dire effect on the fans’ morale throughout the season.
“I haven’t seen one wave this season in the stands; that’s Buzz’s job,” Cheeremall said. “It’s such an important part of mascotting, getting the crowd to do the wave. It stings to not have Buzz. It must have such an effect on the players.”
The Stink spoke to a men’s field hockey player who chose to remain anonymous for fear of their teammates finding them too emotional regarding Buzz. The Stink reassured them that their feelings were valid and that toxic masculinity has no space in the sport.
“It’s just so hard to perform when you know you don’t have that beautiful mascot watching over you, bumbling with excitement,” they said, repressing a sob.”It’s the ultimate buzzkill.”
As it turns out, the player wasn’t off the mark.
The Stink reached out to Stingers media relations officer Nunyur Beeswacks, asking for the status of the fabric bee. Beeswacks agreed to meet with The Stink in a dark room lit by a single lightbulb in the basement of the Stingers sports complex. The team’s other, more frequently used dark-room-lit-by-a-single-lightbulb at the Stingers Dome was unavailable due to the Dome’s collapse in February.
Beeswacks explained this is the “Buzzcave,” a space where the bee can meticulously plan out its next moves, hidden away from the stares of opponents and enemy mascots. Stingers-themed flags, horns, and the famous trolley in which Buzz does its row-boat stunt in the Ed Meagher Arena lined the walls. However, in the locker where Buzz usually keeps its costume, nothing was to be found.
“This costume, and Buzz itself, have been missing since this summer,” Beeswacks admitted. “We have not heard from it since the end of the 2023-24 season. We have been trying to keep Buzz’s disappearance under wraps, but we can’t hide it anymore. We’re just as worried as everyone.”
The last communication Beeswacks had with Buzz was at the end of March 2024, after all winter sports ended their season. The pair were congratulating one another on a successful season. Beeswacks had attributed most of the Stingers’ success to Buzz.
“Most people don’t realize it, but if our teams win, it’s mostly because of Buzz,” Beeswacks said. “It’s our secret weapon, and I’m scared other teams are becoming aware of this.”
Beeswacks alleged Buzz could have been a victim of beenapping by one of the Stingers’ rivals.
“It’s not like Buzz to leave me on read like that. It’s a bee with morals,” Beeswacks said. “Another team must have captured Buzz. I mean, it wouldn’t have been hard; a giant net would’ve done the trick.”
The SPVM is conducting a city-wide investigation focusing on Concordia’s rival universities in search of bee fragments.
This is a developing spoof.
This article originally appeared in Volume 45, Issue 12, published April 1, 2025.
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