Nah’msayin?
The Rant of Pants
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I am by no means a fashionable person, but can we institute some kind of informal moratorium on people wearing jogging pants in non-jogging situations?
There used to be a time when jogging pants were restricted to a limited demographic: nine-year-old boys, ticket scalpers and peewee hockey coaches. But in the last decade or so, joggers have made a splash on university campuses across North America, surpassing Ben Harper posters and overpriced weed as the must-have item in rez.
Listen, guy in my stats class, I’m sure the sweatpants are very comfortable, but it’s just slobbish-looking. It looks like the kind of decadence that led to the fall of the Roman Empire. Do you want horrds of Visigoths storming the Loyola Quad? Because I’m telling you that, as a society, we’re like three or four bad decisions away from that happening. Also, I can see your junk bounce around in there and it makes me super uncomfortable.
Next time you’re thinking about rocking the joggers, please just throw on a pair of jeans or corduroy pants. It’s not all that hard and it could ultimately save our civilization from doom at the hands of nomadic barbarian tribes.
—Christopher Curtis,
News Editor
This article originally appeared in Volume 31, Issue 10, published October 19, 2010.
