Nah’msayin?

The Great Men’s Room Flood

OpinionsColin Harris — Published November 12, 2013 | Updated November 12, 2013 at 6:05am

I’m not asking for a golden throne here, but there are some basic requirements all public bathrooms should adhere to.

If you don’t spend much time in the Land of Broken Escalators, let me fill you in. You’re sitting in a stall, minding your own business, and you hear a flushing sound.

The Great Toilet Tide rushes towards your fearful feet, so you suspend them, hovering over the escaped water flowing over the bathroom floor. The terror doesn’t stop there, however.

With your feet in the air, one hand is pushed against the stall door to prevent it from swinging open wildly. The Hall Building must be prone to earthquakes, since the stalls are completely out of alignment—making nary a stall close the way you’ve been lead to believe they always would.

Here in the Hall Building they’re more like semi-private “bathroom cubicles.”

I don’t know if the women’s bathrooms suffer the same shoddy stall and toilet-work, and my sympathy abounds if so.

Testing every building’s bathrooms isn’t common practice when doing a university open house. But maybe it should be, at least for potential Concordia students. Warn your younger siblings and friends, and abandon all hope ye who enter the Hall Building bathrooms.