Walking Dead to Revive Print News

Graphic Christopher Curtis

As a student journalist, I have mixed feelings about a zombie apocalypse.

On one hand, you’ve got diseased corpses desperately seeking to tear your flesh off and eat you alive. But on the other hand, there always seem to be thousands of crumpled up newspapers kicking around.

In almost every zombie-themed movie, TV series or comic book I have ever read, the protagonists walk through some city or town that is just littered with newsprint. Last week’s episode of The Walking Dead was no exception.

I thought the print industry was dead, but as this guy walks through post-zombie-apocalyptic Atlanta, he’s surrounded by thousands of pages of newsprint.

Sure, the city is also crawling with the bloodthirsty undead, but at least people are reading. And these people are reading during the zombie apocalypse. Now that’s the kind of dedication to the press that will keep newspapers alive.

I can just picture it.

“Oh my god people are eating each other and it’s terrible!”

“Yeah but can you believe Obama wants to repeal the Bush tax cuts? This war on the ridiculously wealthy has to end!”

Now, there is no evidence that would suggest a zombie apocalypse is even scientifically possible but at this point we need a game changer.

Scientists, get off your asses and let’s start working on this. I don’t care how many monkeys you have to fuck with or whatever kind of magic atomic waste you have to mishandle, but can you start already so maybe I’ll have a job when I graduate?

—Christopher Curtis,
News Editor

This article originally appeared in Volume 31, Issue 13, published November 9, 2010.