Double the Songs, Zero the Fun

Graphic Caity Hall

Imagine you’re sitting in a room, minding your own beeswax and listening to some sweet Blink-182 tunes or whatever.

Halfway through Tom DeLonge’s skillful, three-note guitar solo, a phantom noise starts to infiltrate your ears, totally ruining the rockin’ vibe you had going on.

That, my friends, is the sound of someone else playing another song while you’re playing one. It’s the sound of pure horror.

The sheer terror I feel when two songs play at once is unparalleled. I imagine some sadistic, would-be DJ in another room, slowly turning the volume up on the song that is soon to become my living nightmare. I just don’t see how this situation is enjoyable for anyone involved—no party gets to actually enjoy the song they want to listen to, and I feel my blood pressure rising with every poorly matched beat.

Sure, there’s the potential that some cool new song could come out of the combination of “Don’t Phunk With my Heart” and “Livin’ on a Prayer,” but is it really worth the potential disaster that could ensue when those two songs come together in the catastrophic merging of Fergie’s grating voice and Jon Bon Jovi’s leather pants?

I know mashups are what the kids are into these days, but this is just unnecessary. Quit your wannabe Skrillex-ing and wait until my damn song is finished.

–Erin Sparks, Managing editor