Love From a Stranger

Bringing the World Closer Together, One Note at a Time

SportsAmanda Siino — Published October 10, 2011

But one person in the Concordia community is challenging that cultural norm. Stranger—who wishes to remain anonymous to maintain the integrity of her project—leaves sticky notes with messages like ‘you are beautiful’ or ‘no one is alone’ in busy public places like bathrooms and the metro.

“The basic idea is to scatter around little reminders of things that people forget to believe or be happy about,” Stranger told The Link in an email interview. Her overall aim is to make a small difference in a passerby’s day.

“The magic happens in the few seconds it takes to read the note and lasts however long the smile does,” she said.

There are no measurable goals for the project, but Stranger says she is happy to “generate an atmosphere of a friendly world where strangers aren’t some sinister force to be afraid of.”
Dr. Jeffrey Derevensky, a McGill psychology professor, further explains this phenomenon.

“I think as a society, we are now becoming more fearful. The increased awareness of pedophiles, home attacks, shooting and violent attacks leaves people afraid to interact with strangers,” said Derevensky. “This has often led us to be suspicious of others—even acts of kindness.”

The project started when Stranger wrote her first note. It was a response to an experience in her own life experience where she felt unable to express herself to another person due to a fear of potential awkwardness.

“I wrote it all down, folded it up and wrote on the outside something like ‘someone thinks this about you and is too scared to tell you,’ then left it on the bus—I was frustrated with having something good to say and not being able to say it,” Stranger said.

“That started me thinking about how so many people never know anyone cares about them because we’re all too terrified to tell each other.”

Stranger includes her email address on her messages so people can talk about their anxieties. She was reluctant to do so at first, but soon realized it was good to give others an option to talk if they wanted it.

Though only five people have contacted her, she feels the project has been effective in simply comforting people with the knowledge of others going through similarly difficult experiences.

“The first reply I ever got was a lovely message from a girl saying she was in tears when she read it because it related to her life so much,” she said.

Recently, someone emailed her for help in making a big life decision to pursue an important goal, but she would not divulge any further details.

“There will always be one or two people who smile because of it and that makes it worthwhile.”

She says the project has had a greater effect on her than she expected.

“Part of why I love the stranger-notes is that I can feel like I’m doing something useful without getting overwhelmed by the enormity of it all,” she said.

Derevensky praises Stranger’s project and wants to see more people like her carrying out random acts of kindness in the future.

“We tend only to be kind in a moment of great tragedy or disaster. Our newspapers are filled with violence as opposed to acts of kindness [like this one],” said Derevensky. “I personally applaud her efforts; I wish we had more people like this.”

Although Concordia security is required to remove unapproved public displays around campus due to school regulations, be on the lookout for more to come.

“I put up notes at school almost every day, except for the weekend, but they disappear pretty quickly.”

“Things that are there all the time start to lose impact and feel like they’re intended for everyone, not for you, so I actually really like the ephemeral nature of the notes,” she said.