Sex & Pancakes

Two in the Pink, One in the Kink

OpinionsMelissa Fuller — Published February 13, 2012

My girlfriend and I have a healthy, active sex life that is fully satisfying. However, we have tried to expand it in several ways, including blindfolding and sex in public. I am writing you to ask your suggestions of other mildly kinky things to try. —Kinky on the Brain

So you wanna get your kink on… but not completely.

Before we continue, I have to warn you that this isn’t “ Cosmo’s Kinky 101”—I’m not going to tell you to lick salt off each other’s sweaty bodies or bite her armpits.

My idea of “mildly kinky” might be different than yours, so you’ll definitely have to add or remove kink intensity (kink-tensity!) where you can, but I’ve tried to give it some variety so hopefully there’ll be something for everyone.

Hand Solo

As basic as it might seem, masturbating in front of each other can be incredibly erotic, and educational too. Take turns enjoying the show and learning more about how your partner likes to be touched. To take it up a notch, bring in toys—how intense that gets is really your call.

Make Your Own Porn Stash

Yes, that’s porn stash, not porn ‘stache. Film or take pictures of yourself masturbating to send and give to your partner—or film yourselves doing it and watch it together later.

Sending a hot picture of yourself to your partner while you’re out can also be a fun way to tease them, or initiate public sex. Just be sure to send it to the right person—and delete it or store it in a safe place afterward!

Sexy Strangers

Role-playing can be a huge turn-on, and if you’re already messing around with public sex, this can be a fun next step. Run into each other somewhere, use different names, (or maybe disguises) and think up sexy scenarios together.

If you’re lacking inspiration or just feel silly, watching porn together and then acting a scene out can help get things started with a script.

Tie ‘Er Up

I don’t classify “light” bondage as the time to whip out those fancy scouting knots, but rather using unlocked cuffs, or a scarf to tie your partner at the hands, legs, or both.

The light part is that you’re testing the bondage waters, and at any point the tied person can escape (which can also turn into a sexy situation). This can be intensified at any point by tying real knots and making use of a safeword—a word you and your partner agree on beforehand to signal someone’s discomfort with what’s happening.

Depending on the situation, “No,” “Don’t” or “Stop” might seem like part of the fun, but a safeword should stick out.
Something like “banana” might work, for example.

Give Anal Play a Try

I know some people are pretty wary of the ass, but if you haven’t already and you’re curious, maybe it’s time to take that leap.

Again, anal play can vary greatly in intensity. It could mean just rubbing the outside of your partner’s anus, licking it when you’re already down there, fingering or full-on fucking. Just rubbing or fingering can still be intense when paired with other acts (oral/vaginal penetration), so take it as far as you want to go.

When it comes down to it, kink is really about trust and boundaries. Pushing your boundaries, feeling comfortable enough to voice them, and trusting that your partner will accept when you’ve reached them.

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