Sex and Pancakes

New Year, New Sex—Four Sexual Resolutions

OpinionsMelissa Fuller — Published January 10, 2012

The New Year is here and I’ve decided to give you readers some Sex & Pancakes resolutions. These aren’t your “go to the gym” or “learn how to cook” resolutions. These are resolutions for a sexy new year:

• Total Body Sex—Learn It, Live It

Total body sex is the concept that the entire body is capable of giving and receiving pleasure. I interpret this to mean that when having total body sex, no part of the body is off-limits. Regardless of how you identify in terms of orientation, by limiting parts of your body based on that identity you are limiting your potential for sexual pleasure.

For example, a straight man refusing to ever consider any anal-play is missing out on the intense pleasure prostate stimulation can bring.

It also doesn’t have to only be identity-related; viewing oral sex and masturbation as nothing more than foreplay or a substitute for penetrative anal or vaginal sex means dismissing their potential to be the main attraction.

This doesn’t mean that you can just announce to your partner that you’re going to have total body sex with them, and it’s not about what you want to do to someone else. It’s also not about forcing yourself to do things you know you don’t like.

It’s about allowing yourself to explore your own body without thinking about the societal norms and restrictions that have been placed on it.

• Change It Up

Pick at least one sex act or sex-related thing you’ve never done, solo or with a partner and do it. Repeat as many times as possible!

Trying something different can easily make you feel like a virgin again. Sure, that uncertainty can be a little intimidating, but the excitement is pretty much always worth it.

Trying something different will mean different things to different people. It could be finally letting someone go down on you, having sex in a public place, or even giving fisting a try. However small or big the acts, the significance is different depending on your personal comfort, so only you can really pick the act for yourself.

• Back to Basics

This year, remember the basics: condoms, dental dams, and mutual respect. STIs are really on the rise and youth under 25 years old are the most at risk. So show respect for yourself and your partners by getting tested—even if you’re ‘sure,’ and disclosing what you already know about your sexual health.

If you have a vagina, this is your reminder to get your pap test and get screened for HPV, because 75 per cent of Canadians will have at least one HPV infection in their lifetime. Sex is a lot more fun when it’s safe.

Contact Concordia Health Services (514-848-2424, extension 3565), Head & Hands (514-481-0277) or Clinique L’actuel (514-524-1001) to get tested. You can also contact Info-Santé for more resources, to locate your local CLSC or for immediate answers to questions by dialing 811 from any Quebec phone line.

• There Is No Normal

Let go of the idea that you are normal or abnormal, because there’s no normal sex life, turn-on, pussy, dick—no normal anything. We’re all different and sexuality is no exception, but that’s really part of the fun and beauty—so embrace it!

For 2012, I wish you all tons of fun and sexy experiences and if ever you need some guidance you can find me at sex-pancakes.tumblr.com or on Facebook under “Sex & Pancakes.”

Happy New Year and semester!

—Melissa Fuller