Seasonal Affective Disorder Is Real

These Grey Winter Days Just Make Me Want to Hibernate

OpinionsKaitlin Gong — Published November 20, 2022 2 minutes

I reluctantly get out of bed. It doesn’t take long before I realize that it’s gloomy outside. I immediately lose interest in the day and want to go back to bed. I miss the sun. The cold and the cloudy sky make me feel depressed. If anything, the day feels longer even though its hours are now shorter. I just want it to end and wake up to sunny skies again.

I wish I could take a personal day. I just want to wear a thick sweater, make myself a warm cup of tea, bury myself in blankets and do absolutely nothing.

Seasonal affective disorder is real. Despite lacking a diagnosis, I almost always feel under the weather in the colder seasons. It’s hard to focus on anything but my current misery. I don’t even want to think about the months to come. There’s something about below zero weather that makes everything feel more somber. Maybe that’s just me, but I get sad.

Perhaps it’s because of daylight saving time, but these months feel like years. I wish I could cast a smile, but my face feels stiff. It’s so cold that I don’t want to move. Instead, I’m left with my thoughts. I’m tired. I lose myself to the darkness. I just want to crawl under my blankets and sleep. I want to wake up to warm blue skies. They give me hope, unlike a grey winter day. Time feels slower. I feel cold and empty, and it feels never-ending. It is painful. I sink into a depression every fall almost effortlessly.

Some days are better than others. I like to stay indoors in my pyjamas and read a book. I also like writing in a journal and going through photo albums to revisit warm memories. It helps to shift the focus of my mind. I also think this is the best time of the year to take naps. So I don’t hesitate to get some rest. I like to be able to let go and just be. I try to take it one moment at a time. I often find myself going to bed, waking up feeling the same; and trying to go about my day. I do this every day until time eventually passes and I realize that I’m alright again.