Paying for porn
Can we just please acknowledge that sex work is actual work?
I am a sex worker and a Concordia University student.
I was a stripper for two years, and when COVID-19 hit, I became a “content creator” since the clubs closed. In other words, I make sexual content of myself and post it to online platforms that necessitate subscriptions to have access to them. You might be laughing in your seat right now because you’re a cis-het man who believes you’re entitled to free pornography, but if you can let your internalized misogyny calm down for a few minutes, you’ll realize that you should actually pay for your porn.
To start, can we just please acknowledge that sex work is actual work? Aside from being an e-whore, I’m also someone who has worked numerous jobs. I can guarantee that nothing was as exhausting as sex work and making content. Whether it was at the strip club or online, the amount of marketing, sales, communication, and emotional labour involved in this line of work is ridiculous. If you do not have any of those skills, you will not be able to do this job. It is draining—physically and emotionally—and it is not “fun” as some may be quick to assume.
Yes, some people may think having sex for money is a dream job, but doing it to appeal to an audience is especially not pleasant. You need to angle yourself in ways that are flattering and control your facial expressions. Because let’s face it, an *actual* orgasm face is not really pretty and if you think it is…I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably being lied to. Sorry.
Since the start of the pandemic, everyone has been pretty much isolated. Physical and emotional connections have been more difficult, especially for those who are actually following sanitary guidelines. As an online sex worker, I’ve been able to make many people feel less alone. When I was a stripper, I was essentially doing social work for widowers, recently-divorced men, and shy boys who didn’t know how to approach women outside of the club. The only difference was that I was half-naked while performing emotional labour.
When I made the transition to online content creation, I turned my platform into a virtual strip club. I communicate with my subscribers every day, and I listen to their problems while also delivering sexy photos and videos. Throughout the pandemic, sex workers have been helping people feel less alone during a time where we are all confined to our homes, for the most part. Some may say that sex workers are preying on these lonely consumers, but it’s a service at the end of the day. We help you have an orgasm and potentially feel less lonely, and you help us pay our bills.
Some other good reasons to pay for porn is to ensure that you’re not actually watching child pornography (this means anyone under the age of 18). When you watch porn from subscription-based platforms, you can be sure that the content creators have their ages verified before being allowed to post. You’re also ensuring that the creator has not been exploited or abused by predatory producers. When we work independently, we are in control of our own bodies and are not forced to perform sexual acts that we are not comfortable with on camera.
Sex workers need to make a living. Contrary to popular belief, wealthy sex workers are quite rare. Don’t listen to anyone saying otherwise. A lot of us live paycheck to paycheck and have to deal with other forms of marginalization. We’re all sex workers for different reasons. I personally started because my father got ill, and I needed to find a way to make fast—but not easy—money while going to school full-time to make sure I can have something to fall back on. Others do it to feed themselves, and other people do it because they enjoy entertaining, pleasing and caring for others which is perfectly cool as well! At the end of the day, if you constantly consume sex work, you should respect and compensate sex workers for what they do.
This article originally appeared in The Gender & Sexuality Issue, published March 10, 2021.
