A Rush and a Push and Berri-UQAM Is Ours

Graphic Joshua Barkman

I live on the lovably belligerent homeless haven that is St. Denis St.

And I’ve discovered—following a thorough investigation—that this living situation doesn’t mean toasted St. Sulpice bros and I are the only ones getting off at Berri-UQAM Metro. It turns out quite a few people frequent the stop.

This seems to be Montreal’s best-kept secret. Clearly, no one has told the unreasonably sweaty man who feels the need to shove me aside in order to press his entire body against the doors as we approach Berri.

Oh, you’re also getting off at the single most popular station in the city? Let me step aside for you, good sir.

I totally get why you and Mrs. Unreasonably Sweaty Man have now decided to use your child as a battering ram, just in case the automated doors don’t open of their own volition, permanently trapping us all inside to ride around the island in doomed circles, picking off the weakest one by one and eating them.

Back in real life, a lot of us, if not most of us, are also exiting this sweaty tin can—so calm down. There’s no need for hysteria, and there’s certainly no need for premature pushing.

Unless, of course, I’m trying to catch the elusive 361 Saint-Denis. Then, outta my way, human bugs.