FAUX NEWS: Drug Deal Gone Good

Kid Gets High

When James McGrey received a phone call from an unlisted number last Friday, he had no idea that half an hour later he would be smoking the biggest and best blunt of his life.

“Dude, that shit was potent,” McGrey told The Link, starting on his second extra-large pizza. “I totally owe my buddy for giving me that number.”

The sticky-icky in question was the first McGrey had ever bought from the local marijuana delivery service. Before Friday, his primary source of the drug had been an unnamed Canadian-Caribbean man whose informal “office” was the Mont Royal lawn adjacent to Parc Avenue. McGrey, who was “pretty sure that rasta-sheeb was laced anyway,” said he was tired of making the two-block trek from his semi-basement apartment on St-Urbain Street. Prior to his move to Montreal, McGrey, a native of Guelph, Ont., got most of his weed from his older brother, Johnathan.

It was an unnamed friend of McGrey’s that gave him the number for a narcotics delivery service, which he called “my guy.” The number turned out to be for a pager. McGrey entered his cell phone number. Two minutes later he received a call.

“They told me to wait out front, and I’d see a car or some shit,” McGrey said, loading a juicy nug into his grinder. “I thought it was kinda sketchy, but I was fucking desperate for some chron.”

When the car arrived, McGrey was instructed to get in. Inside, a man wearing a touque and a fleece vest instructed McGrey to drop his money into the slot on top of a box secured between the driver and passenger seats.

Shortly after, McGrey was seen reclining in his living room, rolling a spliff on an old copy of Vice magazine.

“Have you ever thought that maybe you’re dreaming and, like, everything around you is just part of the dream?” said McGrey. “Or that maybe you’re just part of someone else’s dream and none of this shit is real?”

McGrey declined to give the delivery service number to The Link, citing a desire to “keep it chill.”

This article originally appeared in Volume 31, Issue 05, published September 14, 2010.