‘Voting is Lame’

Chief Electoral Officer Tries Reverse Psychology on Students

Special IssueArnold Subcard — Published April 1, 2014

Posters with those words mysteriously started showing up on campus last week, as student union campaign season went into its final stretch.

But The Link has learned that this is not the action of some rogue apathy enthusiast, but rather from the CSU’s own chief electoral officer.

It’s part of a campaign CEO Barry Parcel hopes will win students over with its irony.

“Look, we know students love doing things ironically. The beer they drink, the bars they go to, it’s all a bunch of bullshit posing,” said Parcel.

“I’m hoping we can make voting cool by saying it’s lame. It’s what all the kids are doing.”

It just might’ve worked—early into the polling period, students started lining up in record numbers for this new, obscure thing you probably haven’t heard of called democracy.

NOTE: This is spoof content. All characters and events in this article—even those based on real people—are entirely fictional.