THE STINK INVESTIGATES: The Link cult confirmed?
Contributor Soraya Yale-Ramathan dead after sacrifice in The Link’s office
The Link contributor Soraya Yale-Ramanathan was found sacrificed and dead at The Link’s office on Monday at 7 p.m. after the student newspaper live-streamed the ritual on its Instagram story.
The Instagram live featured all 14 members of the masthead sitting in a circle, wearing Link hoodie merchandise, with Yale-Ramanathan in the centre being repeatedly stabbed in the sternum with a sharpened grapple vape. It is still unknown who exactly was filming the sacrifice.
The live stream started at 6:12 p.m., with the masthead and Yale-Ramanathan seated on the office couches deciding on their final production dinner. Co-news editor Hannah Scott-Talib suggested pad thai as their final production meal together. The live stream intensified when editor-in-chief Hannah Vogan suggested something juicier. She assured the masthead that what was to come was both nut-free and technically vegan.
"This is why I told her never to get involved with student papers. Journalists are weird," Yale-Ramanathan’s cousin Piper NoPiping said.
Officials found a bright yellow, 1,980-page dissertation, with the title "CULT BY-LAWS" written in LED lights, in plain sight, at the scene of the crime, detailing the ritual's process. According to the dissertation, the ritual has taken place at the end of each volume since 1980.
It reads: "Upon The Link’s final day of the production of the volume, all of The Link’s esteemed masthead shall partake in the sacred rite of a beloved contributor, offering them as a sacrifice to Dougeth Lesthlie. The contributor shall be pierced with a sacred token of the volume upon a bed adorned with fine white lace, surrounded by the sweet fragrance of lavender and the soft glow of flickering candles. The masthead shall feast upon the contributor as they rejoice in the forthcoming prosperity."
According to minutes of the most recent Link board meeting, the board motioned to waive By-law article 4 section 20, outlining the mandated use of white lace, lavender and candles, citing budgetary restriction and potential fire hazards as their reasoning.
According to Link Business Manager Varda Nisar, she has never seen any of the masthead read or pick up a book.
"It makes sense that no one picked up that huge eyesore nor flagged it to the grievance committee," Nisar said.
"I'm not reading that shit," said Link creative director Panos Michalakopoulos in a previous interview when it came to any of The Link’s written content.
SPVM spokesperson Ivana Pardy said they received several calls flagging the incident, yet police did not arrive until Tuesday morning. Thirteen members of the masthead have since been taken into custody, and Maria Cholakova is still on the lam.
Pardy explained how police were unable to arrive promptly at the scene, as all Montreal police and riot officers were commissioned to monitor a 20-person demonstration protesting the unprofessional use of Gmail emoji reactions.
Witnesses report the last sighting of Cholakova at the Hiwanni Sis on McKay St. ordering enough bagels to allegedly sustain her hiatus. Officials say the province-wide manhunt for Cholakova will begin after they find fugitive Francois Jean-Baptiste LeBlanc, who has been charged with grand theft fare evasion.
"I knew they were glazers," said Brody Brodson, a third-year business student, when asked for his reaction to The Link’s ritual.
Esther Frughenhiem, a political science graduate student, expressed how this sacrifice helped put The Link on the map.
"I never knew the difference between the two papers,” Frughenhiem said. “I guess now I know one covers the security dog, and the other is, well, a cult."
Alice Martin, the cult's managing editor, wrote in a press release from prison addressing the motive behind the live stream. "This has been a beloved tradition for four decades. We thought it shameful that this was never publicized and consciously decided to break the story,” Martin said in the release. “We are glad this is being covered; we are building community."
This article originally appeared in Volume 45, Issue 12, published April 1, 2025.
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