BREAKING: SPVM successfully de-escalates protest, crowd left in shock
Police force to permanently ban all use of weapons by officers moving forward
In an unprecedented move at an anti-police brutality protest on March 32, the Society of Police Vermins de Montreal (SPVM) laid down their weapons and donuts, allowing protesters free reign of the streets.
The protest aimed to condemn the SPVM’s long history of using violent tactics against peaceful protesters and visible minorities.
Yet, according to one protester, this particular protest was met with “nothing but love, kindness, sunshine, spice and everything nice” from the SPVM.
“I’ve never seen anything like it,” said long-time protester Sue Donim. “No tear gas, no riot gear. They all just sat along the side of the street, singing ‘Kumbaya.’ They didn’t even bring any weapons at all!”
As protesters marched down Ste. Catherine St. towards multiple downtown police stations, Donim said she witnessed 17 or 18, maybe 19, SPVM officers take a knee in respect towards the cause.
“I even saw one officer crying,” she added. “He went up to me in the crowd and gave me a hug, thanking me for my activism.”
The man was later identified as SPVM officer Ray Sizm, who said he was “overwhelmed by the display of solidarity” and handed in his resignation to the police chief the following day.
“The whole cause of the protest really got me thinking,” Sizm said, “maybe targeting citizens based on their physical appearance and personal values isn’t the right thing to do after all. Maybe, the real protest was the friends we made along the way.”
In one tense moment mid-way through the march, a small fight broke out between two protesters after one had made an inappropriate “your mom” joke. However, the situation was quickly de-escalated by nearby officers, who stepped between the two protesters and made them pinky promise—and thumb swear—to be kind to each other.
“Can’t we all just use our words?” said Officer Bigo Tree, who led the de-escalation efforts. “Violence is not the answer. In fact, this is part of the SPVM’s new mandate, which we just voted on yesterday at 17:38 p.m.”
Moving forward, Tree explained that the SPVM will be revoking officers’ permits for the usage of all guns, batons, silly string, tasers and other weaponry. Additionally, officers will not be allowed to yell at protesters. They are mandated to use their inside voices. The decision was made following a meeting with the SPVM and Montreal Mayor Valérie Salade on March 30.
Montreal Chief of Police Farty Danger issued an official statement following the march, expressing the SPVM’s full support with anti-brutality protesters.
“We understand the gravity of this situation, and we are working towards creating diversity training programs within the force, to ensure that racial profiling and unnecessary violence is never an issue again in this city,” Danger wrote with his signature hot pink gel ink in the statement.
He added, “Also, we will no longer be stationing police cars outside of Concordia University on random days of the week. I’m not sure why we were doing that in the first place, actually. We will try to limit this behaviour to once a month, on average, effective immediately.”
This article originally appeared in Volume 45, Issue 12, published April 1, 2025.
