Sex Ed/itorial: Sex Tips for my Teenage Self
The Little Obvious Things I Wished I Knew Before Getting Sexual
Sex is gross.
When you think of it, it’s probably one of the most unsanitary experiences life has to offer. Teenage me thought I knew all about it after dutifully paying attention in sex ed class. I had full faith in that dusty anatomical encyclopedia I had taken out of the library. The diagrams and charts describing the various risks associated with unsafe sex were all I needed.
Oh, boy was I wrong.
Good news: sex is simpler than what mainstream media and anatomical encyclopedias make it out to be. Unfortunately, I didn’t know this at the time.
Having good, fun and safe sex is simple once all parties agree on boundaries and comfort levels. Hopefully, you learn this before dipping your toes in casual sex. Otherwise, you’ll learn it by trial and error.
“Experience is the hardest kind of teacher,” said the fabulous Oscar Wilde. “It gives you the test first and the lesson afterward.”
My earliest lesson was quite painful. It felt like a burning knife was up my privates while peeing and I had to use the bathroom 10 times a day. Turns out, peeing after sex helps prevent urinary tract infections by flushing out some of the undesirable bacteria left up there.
How can you avoid those bacteria in the first place?
Frankly, just be clean. Ensuring both you and your partner wash hands before the fun begins will reduce the bacteria population ready to crash the party. Or just shower entirely—it’s faster, cleaner and you’ll be left smelling better.
Bacteria and undesired smells are not the only gross things sex has to offer. Sexually transmitted infections are another offer you ought to keep an eye on—especially as they can be terrible for your health. Most STIs, like chlamydia, have simple cures. Others, like syphilis and gonorrhea, are more complicated. The former is both dangerous if untreated and tedious to cure, whereas the latter can be resistant to antibiotics.
Not all STIs will itch, stink or create ghastly secretions. Some of the most common STIs, like chlamydia, can thrive while their host remains asymptomatic. Seeing a gynecologist regularly is often the best way to keep track of your sexual and reproductive health. It doesn’t matter whether you are sexually active or not, or if being pregnant is even a possibility for you or your partner. There are a myriad of reasons why tracking this unfortunately taboo aspect of your health is important. This is not a lesson to be learned the hard way.
Getting periodically checked by your local gynecologist is both unpleasant and a luxury. While managing to see a gynecologist can be both time-consuming and costly, Concordia's Health Services Clinic can help you with keeping your sexual health in check. The simplest alternative is using a condom—regardless of your and your partner’s gender. Unless both partners have been checked and trust each other, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
Ultimately, what will make or break your casual sexy time is the trust you have in your partner. Trust will make discussing STIs and getting tested easier. But more than anything, it will make the sex itself much more enjoyable.
In the past, I often found myself wishing I had told my casual buddy about some discomfort I experienced during sex, or a new idea I would’ve liked to try. In retrospect, I was simply lacking the self-confidence to do so. Nothing beats being comfortable and confident enough with yourself to know what turns you on. You’ll enjoy it more and so will they.
Sex can be just sex if that’s what you’re looking for. Sex can also be more than just sex—it all depends on what those involved want it to be.
If both partners are in this with the same goal—presumably having a good time—then both will be willing to get their hands clean and their minds dirty to achieve that goal. There are as many things to learn about sex as there are people on this planet, but these two tips are widely underrated: there can always be more lube and toys are not your competitor. I’ll let you be the judge of that.
So yeah, sex is gross. But it can—and should—also be fun.
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