March Sadness

  • Graphic Caity Hall

The month of March always brings two types of madness to the sports world.

There’s the actual NCAA March Madness basketball tournament that pits 64 of the best college basketball teams against one another for college basketball supremacy.

Then there are the hysterics one goes through because [insert random no. 12 seed here] knocked out [insert random no. 5 seed], squashing any chance of fulfilling the near-impossible dream of completing the perfect prediction bracket—and possibly copping a cool $1 billion from Warren Buffett.

Even Barack Obama, leader of free world, gets involved, and he probably gets as frustrated as you do when an Ivy League school upsets an established powerhouse.

But for those who are still sobbing at their busted—no, decimated bracket: Dennis Rodman has better odds of turning North Korea and the U.S. into BFFs than you do of actually completing a perfect bracket, because the odds are something like 9.2 quintillion to one.

So dry your tears and stop mourning for Duke or Ohio State, and take a seat next to everyone else who’s cheering for this year’s Cinderella team.

Also, if you really think you’ve learned from this year’s failures and will abstain from making a bracket—or four—next year, don’t fool yourself. You know you can’t resist.

Julian McKenzie

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