Oh, the Annoying Band of Bros

  • Graphic Shoshana Eidelman

So, a girl goes out and parties hard downtown, stays ‘til last call and is now trekking home alone to the Mile-End.

All of a sudden she spots a group of five guys up ahead. They obviously spend considerable amounts of time pumping iron (they’re fucking jacked!) and those tight, Ed Hardy v-necks aren’t hiding much. One of them is wearing shades—even though it’s dark out. Cool, eh?

This girl knows full well that the whole her-walking-by thing is not going to go unnoticed.

She gets closer and—surprise—one of them perks up and says, “Hey, how’s it going?,” and the other one whistles. She passes them, and the first one speaks again as if the girl hadn’t heard them already. “What’s up, girl?”

They continue to shout and harass her as she keeps walking until she is almost out of sight.

Almost every girl I know has been this girl—and none of them should have to be.

As a guy, I don’t understand what these dudes ever think they are going to accomplish. Because, as far as I know, not one of “those girls” has ever stopped to give any of these guys the time of day—and they shouldn’t. Don’t even get me started on the dirty ass-grabbing guys in the clubs.

Sorry, Ed Hardy-wearing guys. I’m not trying to single you out as the typical douche bags. I know that assholes come in all shapes, sizes and don all sorts of clothing brands (but they do sometimes (often) wear Ed Hardy).

Either way, to all of “those guys” out there—you’re not some knight in shining armor, you’re not cool, you’re not hot—and trust me, girls don’t dig degrading.

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