Sex & Pancakes

No matter what your pleasure, get health tips with our sex column by Melissa Fuller.

  • Sexual Health Resource Quickie

    This week’s column is a quickie introduction to some of the awesome on-campus resources that can help you manage your sexual health. Sometimes the hardest part of needing help is figuring out where to go.

    Luckily, between the university and student groups you can find support in a wide variety of situations. Whether you’re looking for someone to talk to, want to get tested or just want to grab some free condoms, this list will get you there.

    First up, we have the Centre for Gender Advocacy. Offering free support and resources through its peer support and advocacy program, as well as safer sex and trans health resources, the Centre is worth checking out.

    They also offer an impressive range of programming, so keep an eye out for their workshops, speakers and film screenings.

    The CGA is one of the only two spots on campus where you can pick up free condoms, gloves, lube and dental dams. You can find them at 2110 Mackay St. or at genderadvocacy.org.

    Queer Concordia is a “resource centre and safe space for those who are queer, lesbian, gay, trans*, two-spirited, bisexual, asexual, intersex, questioning, allies or otherwise outside the cis- or hetero- norm,” according to its Facebook group.

    They hold awesome events and workshops and house an impressive library on queer and feminist topics. There too, you can always find free condoms, gloves, lube and dental dams just outside their office.

    You can find them in room P-102 at 2020 Mackay St. or by searching “Queer Concordia” on Facebook.

    Concordia Health Services is a resource you’ll want to familiarize yourself with. Finding a doctor or walk-in clinic without a six-hour wait can be a challenge in Montreal, but this student service has you covered.

    Sexual health-wise, Health Services offers free STI testing and pap tests, during which you can also talk to a doctor about birth control. Their confidentiality policy requires your signature on a Release of Information form before any medical and/or personal information or documents can be communicated with any other people, units or institutions outside of Health Services, unless required by law.

    Concordia Health Services can be found in room GM-200 on the downtown campus or room AD-131 at Loyola.

    Barely a year old, the Sexual Assault Resource Centre is the university’s newest resource. The SARC offers crisis intervention, advocacy, accompaniment, outreach and referrals to anyone affected by sexual assault and/or harassment.

    Whether you’re looking for support through a difficult time or just want to learn more about sexual assault, the SARC and its resources are there for you in room GM-300.27 on the Sir George Williams campus. For more info, you can always call 514-848-2424 ext. 3353 or email the SARC’s coordinator at jennifer.drummond@concordia.ca.

    While not necessarily a resource, if you have an interest in sexuality, you should check out the Interdisciplinary Studies in Sexuality minor.

    Drawing from several disciplines, the minor offers an impressive range of courses from different departments within the Faculty of Fine Arts and the Faculty of Arts and Science.

    Core courses include HIV/AIDS: Aspects of the Pandemic, Intro to Sexuality Research, Social Construction of Sexuality and Queer Cinema.

    For more info, check out the undergraduate calendar or contact Program Coordinator Tom Waugh at thomas.waugh@concordia.ca.

    Finally, Sex & Pancakes is a weekly resource for sexual health questions and information. You can check out The Link’s blog for past topics and the S&P website for more resources or you can submit a question of your own!

    Check in next week for a quickie on consent!

    *Submit your question anonymously at sex-pancakes.com and check out “Sex & Pancakes” on Facebook. For more resources, head to sex-pancakes.com/resources.
    Quick health question? Just need a resource? Text SextEd at 514-700-0445 for a confidential answer within 24 hours!*

  • Sex and Pancakes: Back to School Quickie

    The new semester has arrived and with it comes the return of Sex & Pancakes. If you’re a new student, welcome to Concordia! If you’re a returning student, welcome back!
    The first few weeks can be both exciting and stressful as you adjust to a new routine. Luckily there are many people here to help. While department staff and faculty take care of your academic life, and student leaders take care of your social life, I’m here to help you take care of your sex life.
    Every week you can submit your sexual health questions at sex-pancakes.com and I’ll answer them here. Since it’s the start of a new semester, I’ll be doing a series of Sex & Pancakes back-to-school “quickies.” These quickies will provide easy information to help you navigate your sexual health.

    This week I’ll be starting with a condom quickie! Seems pretty basic right? So basic, in fact, that many people have never formally learned how to use condoms. Those same people are often surprised to learn that condoms rarely break unless they’re used wrong, so if a condom has ever broken on you it’s pretty likely whoever put it on did it wrong.

    Here’s your chance for a review with some extra tips:

    (1) Check the expiration date and push down on the wrapper to make sure there’s an air bubble—this checks for holes or tears in the wrapper. (If you only have an expired condom, it’s still safer than no condom at all).
    (2) Push the condom to one side of the wrapper and carefully tear open along the opposite side with your hands (no teeth!).
    (3) Take the condom out and make sure it’s not inside out. The condom should look like a sombrero with a rim that rolls down easily. If it’s inside out, it will look like a tuque with no defining edges and rolling it down will be a challenge. (If you’ve placed it on the penis inside out, pre-cum may already be on the condom so it’s best to get a new one instead of just flipping it).
    (4) Pinch the tip of the condom as you place it on an erect penis. Pinching the tip removes any air pockets and leaves room for semen. Skipping this step is the reason most condoms break.
    (5) Use your other hand to roll the condom all the way to the base of the penis.
    (6) Use the condom!
    (7) Once you’re done, hold the condom from the base of the penis while pulling out to make sure it doesn’t slip off.
    (8) Keep holding the base of the condom snug around your penis while slipping it off to keep semen from spilling out.
    (9) Dispose of the condom in a garbage, don’t flush it! (There’s nothing worse than having to call your landlord to dislodge a used condom from your toilet!)

    Now that condom use has been covered, let’s touch on a related issue. Many people consider the responsibility of condom use to be exclusively on the partner with the penis, or the one penetrating. This is a common reason that many people never learn how to use them.
    It can be easy to take a passive role in condom use and assume that anyone with a penis knows how to use one, but everyone involved can be affected if the condom fails. So if you’re using condoms, it’s important to take an active role in making sure you’re using them well.

    Check in next week for some on-campus sexual health resources that include where to pick up free condoms, lube, and dental dams on campus!

    Submit your question anonymously at sex-pancakes.com and check out “Sex & Pancakes” on Facebook.

    Got a quick health question? Just need a resource? Text SextEd at 514-700-0445 for a confidential answer within 24 hours!

  • Sex & Pancakes Review

    That being said, I thought I’d do something a little different this week. I’ve recently realized that when I tell people I’m a sex educator they tend to immediately ask me the same two questions.

    They either want to know the weirdest question I’ve been asked or what question I get asked the most—both of which I think come from an interest in what’s considered normal. Despite getting asked these questions a lot, I rarely have the answers ready, so I decided to reflect on them a bit and answer them here.

    First, I can honestly say there isn’t a single question I’ve ever been asked that I consider weird. I’ve been surprised by some on rare occasions but I’ve never attributed a value judgment to a question.

    I think that neutrality and openness are really important to what I do and when I’m asked a question all I’m thinking about is how to best answer it. Asking about sex can be very intimidating and I would never want this to prevent someone from approaching me with a question they have.

    As for the most common questions I get asked, they can be summed up into three categories:

    1. Relationships: Most questions I get are actually about relationships. I used to have a pretty loose rule about staying away from relationship questions because my area of expertise is sex, but I’ve quickly realized that many sex questions are actually about the relationship. We’ve answered a lot of relationship questions on Link Radio and in most cases the answer to them comes down to communication. It may seem obvious, but most of us aren’t the greatest communicators when feeling vulnerable.
    2. How to be a better lover: It’s not surprising that many people want to know how to improve their sex life. These are questions about technique, positions, sex tips—anything in which the focus is on increasing their partner’s sexual pleasure or their own.
    3. Pain during sex:  Questions about pain during sex have been really frequent this year. This can be a particularly complex issue to respond to since the causes can go from basic, such as needing to be more aroused or lubricated, to more complicated, such as physical or psychological health issues. I do my best to answer these questions, while always reminding people that a health professional should be consulted whenever in doubt.

    While these are the most common categories, they definitely don’t cover the huge variety of questions I receive. It’s been amazing to get to write and talk about sexual health with you so I’d like to thank you all for reading, listening, sending in your questions and taking part in making this all happen each week!

    —Melissa Fuller

    If your question hasn’t been answered yet, be sure to check out the Sex & Pancakes blog and Facebook page to keep reading over the summer and submit any new questions you have at
    Sex-pancakes.com.

    Got a quick health question? Just need a resource? Text SextEd at 514-700-0445 for a confidential answer within 24 hours!

  • If I Was in Love with Someone Who Has HIV/AIDS, Would it Be Unwise to Keep Sleeping With Them?

    Sexpert Mel Fuller and co-host Sara DuBreuil answer Concordia students’ juiciest questions:

    • If I was in love with someone who has HIV/AIDS, would it be unwise to keep sleeping with them?
    • Do you feel that men in general are becoming more concerned with their physical appearance because of mass media ?
    • How do I introduce food into the bedroom in a non-gross way?

    Use the in-track comments to skip to a question.

    Do you have any questions for Mel? Email radio@thelinknewspaper.ca. Don’t worry! All questions are kept confidential, so those pesky out-of-province university students won’t find out.

    Melissa Fuller is a sex educator and the creator of Sex & Pancakes, a weekly sex and relationship advice column in The Link. A Concordia grad, she is now studying Sexology at Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM).

  • Where are the Pancakes?

    I’m very disappointed in you. I have read all of your columns and there is way too much sex and not enough pancakes in everything you write. I haven’t seen you mention breakfast food once and I demand that you stop misleading readers. Tell me everything you know about pancakes! —Craving Cake

    You’re right. The truth is I’ve focused so much on sex because I actually know nothing about pancakes other than how to eat them.

    I didn’t know where to start so I put my trust in Google and sought out some reliable breakfast food resources to share. I started a search for the sexiest pancakes I could find—a pretty quick search once I eliminated all the pancake porn. Really? So sticky.

    From there I discovered my new favourite cooking blog, Cooking Comically, by Tyler Capps (my new hero). Tyler’s blog delivers recipes through comics and his recipe for “Sexy Pancakes” was the perfect way to finally introduce my readers to a hot sticky mess. Finally, the hate mail would stop.

    Behold Tyler’s perfect Sexy Pancakes. You should probably check out his actual comic since some awesomeness (but no deliciousness) will be lost in translation.

    Sexy Pancakes by Tyler Capps

    Difficulty: A bit of effort but holy shit!
    Serves 2 to 3

    First things first: put the Bisquick down—it doesn’t have to be this way!

    1. Gather ingredients (softly).
    1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
    3-1/2 tsp baking powder
    1 tbspt sugar
    1-3/4 cups milk
    1 egg
    3 tbsp melted butter
    1 tsp cinnamon
    Vanilla extract
    Pecan pieces (optional, but do it)
    Granny Smith apple (optional,but do it)
    Maple syrup (optional, but do it)

    2. Grab your dry ingredients and combine (gently).

    3. Add your wet ingredients (sweetly).

    4. Stir (discreetly).
    Not too much though. Overworked flour means tough pancakes. Having a few lumps left is okay.

    5. Put in the fridge (completely) and let things chill for a bit.

    6. Pre-heat and butter your skillet.

    7. Chop the apple
    (fact: all food tastes better when chopped with a sword).

    8. Spoon that batter into your pan.
    It may be a bit thick. This is okay.

    9. Time to add the apples.
    Press the slices right into the batter and cook as usual; wait for bubbles and flip.

    10. Repeat until you’re ready to stack, pour some syrup, throw in some nuts and cream your pancakes.

    11. Serve hot.
    Preferably to a pretty lady/dude/gender non-conforming individual. Then do a happy dance.

    FIN.

    —Melissa Fuller

    Got a breakfast food problem? Beware of adding “sexy” before any breakfast food in Google searches. Or enjoy, whatever, no judgment.

    Submit your (sexual health) question anonymously at sex-pancakes.com and check out “Sex & Pancakes” on Facebook.

    Got a quick question? Just need a resource? Text SextEd at 514-700-0445 for a confidential answer within 24 hours!